Saya Dilarang Sekolah, Digugat Cerai Karena SekolahHusband threatened to divorce because i join Women School

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“Untuk jadi orang pintar itu ternyata susah, apalagi kalau itu perempuan. Saya mau ikut sekolah perempuan supaya bisa menambah pengetahuan dan ketrampilan. Selama ini perempuan hanya diminta terampil mengelola dapur dan rumah tangga tapi kalau ada pengetahuan sedikit saja sudah dilarang. Waktu saya mau ikut sekolah perempuan, suami saya melarang. Katanya tidak berguna, atau mungkin dia juga takut kalau saya sudah pintar sedikit akan melawan dia. Padahal bukan itu tujuannya. Saya hanya mau bertambah pengetahuan dan tidak mau jadi orang bodoh di kampung supaya berguna untuk masyarakat. Saya bersikeras mau ikut Sekolah Perempuan, sampai akhirnya suami saya mengadukan ke keluarga dan minta keluarga saya ikut melarang. Keluarga saya juga akhirnya melarang saya ikut sekolah, katanya supaya keluarga tidak hancur lebih baik tidak usah ikut sekolah. Tapi saya tidak mau, dan tetap aktif ikut sekolah karena saya sudah merasakan manfaatnya, banyak hal saya tidak tahu menjadi tahu dan saya punya banyak teman dari banyak desa. Bukan cuma Kristen tapi juga Muslim bahkan ada yang Hindu. Jadi saya pikir, apa ruginya saya sekolah? Toh saya tetap atur keluarga.

Karena saya tetap sekolah, suami saya mengancam akan menceraikan. Saya saya sudah dilapor untuk diceraikan. Saya tanya kenapa saya tidak boleh sekolah? Suami saya bilang karena saya sudah tidak mendengar dia lagi, buktinya saya dilarang untuk sekolah tapi saya tidak mendengarnya. Saya tanya lagi kenapa kalau saya sekolah dilarang? Dia tidak jawab. Pokoknya saya tidak boleh sekolah, itu tandanya saya dengar dia. Tapi saya tetap pergi sekolah. Materi di Sekolah Perempuan semakin menarik. Saya rasa pas sekali sewaktu dengar materi tentang gender, terus ada tentang bagaimana posisi perempuan dalam budaya dan politik. Saya alami sendiri apa yang dibicarakan. Waktu itu saya sudah digugat cerai sama suami dan keluarga juga sudah rebut, lebih mendukung suami. Saya sudah tidak tahu mau jelaskan bagaimana ke suami dan keluarga tentang kenapa sekolah itu penting bukan hanya untuk saya tapi juga untuk keluarga dan masyarakat.

Saya sangat terbantu sekali sewaktu ada kurikulum Ketrampilan Berbicara dan Bernalar, wah saya senang sekali. Kami diajarkan mengenai bagaimana berbicara yang dapat diterima oleh orang dan berargumentasi dengan logis. Saya manfaatkan ilmu itu dan mempraktekkan dengan berbicara ulang dengan suami saya dan keluarga. Saya jelaskan secara sistematis mengapa saya ikut sekolah, apa kegunaannya. Saya tunjukkan perubahan dalam kata-kata dan perbuatan yang lebih cerdas dalam keluarga dan saat ikut rapat. Suami saya akhirnya melihat perubahan itu, dan keluarga juga gantian mendukung saya. Itu berlangsung hampir 5 bulan.
Ahhhh, saya senang sekali. Sekarang saya boleh bercerita. Sekarang, suami saya orang yang pertama kali sering mengingatkan jadwal untuk sekolah. Dia malah yang juga yang rajin mengantar saya ke sekolah. Tentu saja kami tidak jadi cerai.

Catatan Perempuan Poso: diceritakan oleh Ibu Bea, warga Sekolah Perempuan Mosintuwu di Lage. Saat ini Ibu Bea menjadi salah satu tokoh perempuan di desa, dan berencana untuk terlibat dalam politik praktis di desa. Cita-citanya memberdayakan semakin banyak perempuan di desa dengan mengajak para perempuan terlibat aktif dalam pembangunan.“It’s not easy to be smart, especially if you are a woman. I wanted to join the women school so that I could have skills and knowledge. All along, women are asked to be skilful in the kitchen and to keep house. But when I wanted to get more knowledge, my husband said no. When I told him I wanted to learn at the women school, he forbade me. He said, it’s useless. Maybe he was afraid if and when I became smart, I would talk back to him, but that’s not what I wanted to do.”
“I just wanted to acquire more knowledge. I didn’t want to be ignorant in the village. I wanted to be useful for the society. I kept telling my husband I wanted to go to school. And so, my husband reported me to my family and asked them to forbid me. My family joined my husband in telling me not to go to the women school. They said, it was better for me not to learn anything in the school, because that way, my family would not fall apart. But I refused to listen to them. I went to school and I was active in the women school because I have felt and seen the benefit. Now I know about so many things that I didn’t know before. Now I have friends from many other villages, not just Christians, but also Muslims and Hindus. So, I thought, “school is not bad and I still can take care of my family.”

“I kept on going to school and my husband threatened to divorce me. I asked, why couldn’t I go to school?’. He said because I was not listening to him any more. He forbade me to go, yet I kept on going to school. It showed that I didn’t listen to him. I asked again why he wouldn’t let me study – he didn’t answer.  I went to school anyway. The learning material in the school became more and more interesting. It hit me in the right spot when the teacher talked about gender, about women’s position in the culture and politics. I, myself, had experienced what was being taught at school. At that time, my husband already filed for divorce and my family was rooting for him. I didn’t know how to explain to them that education is very important, not only for myself, but also for the family and community.”

“I was so glad when the school taught the skills of reasoning and speech. We were taught to speak clearly so that the other person could listen to what we were saying. We were also taught to argue logically. I took advantage of the materials and practiced it at home with my husband and family. I explained sistematically the benefit of studying and why I needed to go to school. I showed them that my speech and conducts were different for the better in the family and in meetings. Eventually my husband saw the change, and my family, in turn, also supported me. Those events happened for about five months.

Ahh .. now I am so happy. I can tell you that my husband is often the first person to remind me the time for class. He also takes me to school diligently. Obviously, the marriage is still intact.”

Notes: Told by Ibu(Mrs) Bea, a member of the Mosintuwu Women School in Lage. These days, Ibu Bea is a prominent figure in her village. She would like to get involved in practical politics in her village. She wants to empower more women in the village by inviting them to be invloved in the development.

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